Nathanael Greene Donates Large Sum to Save the Children

Nathanael Greene, with the help of many local tennis stars, has donated $400.44 dollars to Save the Children. Katie O'Conner accepted the check on behalf of Save the Children from General Greene. Startled at the check, Katie remarked "General....its so big" and then she promptly thanked everyone for participating in the 1st Annual Nathanael Greene Wooden Classic.

General Greene said a few words for the large crowd. "I would like to send a personal congratulations to all those that participated or donated money to the tournament. We were able to donate $400.44 dollars. Save the Children is a great charity that helps create a real and lasting chance for children in need in the United States and around the world. A round of applause for everyone is well deserved. Once again thank you so much for participating. I hope a wonderful time was had by all and I surely do hope to see everyone back for the 2nd Annual Nathanael Greene All Wooden Tennis Racquet Invitational Classic Cup Memorial." The normally reserved crowd then broke out into loud applause and cheers. Moments later a soft version of "America the Beautiful" could be heard in the back. Tears were not in short supply.

Greene who is afraid of flash photography did not appear in the picture. However he asked local philanthropist Sam Kirby to stand in his place. Kirby was more than happy to hand over the check. Applause broke the silence once again.

Carl Lonnberg, Beth Kirby Scoff at Greene All Wooden Club Dress Code--Some sponsors withdraw

"You can dress 'em up, but you can't take 'em out."

Badboy of tennis Carl Lonnberg and fan favorite Beth Kirby ignored the Greene All Wooden all white dress code last weekend in the Nathanael Greene Wooden Classic. "I am pretty sure that was a duck on her dress," Lauren Shapiro said after her and Kirby's match, "either way it was unnecessary." Lonnberg, who donned a Maryland basketball jersey, and Kirby who wore a brown skirt with a duck grazing on the front both were seen as distractions to an otherwise smooth tennis tournament. "I am still seeing red,"Lonnberg's semifinals opponent Anita Sharma said today.

In a turn for the worst, sponsors GQ and Jane magazine, under the auspices of Conde Nast Publications, withdrew sponsorship for the '08 Wooden Classic. In a press conference Monday Conde Nast President Sarah Chubb said, "We at Conde Nast do not condone the fashion choices of Carl Lonnberg or Beth Kirby, we cannot continue to sponsor such dress. I mean, was that a duck?"Despite Lonnberg's attire he managed to finish second to media-friendly trash talker Glenn Davis, a feat that assistant tournament director Max Bergmann attributed more to "poor decision-making by both the bracket committee and Lonnberg's opponents."Tournament director Sam Kirby released a statement yesterday assuring tennis purists that the two would be fined for their actions. "As of now" Kirby stated,"let's just be thankful no one was physically hurt."

Nadal is to Federer as Altizer is to Kirby

Altizer's play upsets many:

Glenn Davis is left thanking his lucky stars that Sam Kirby lost in the Quarter finals to arch-nemisis Whit Altizer. The tennis community is left shaking their head once again as Kirby came up short on Saturday again against Altizer. Many saw the Kirby/Davis Semi-Finals as a match to end all matches. Altizer had other ideas. Kirby has yet to find the answers to Altizer's game. While fans easily mocked Altizer and pleaded for Kirby to come back, his injured ankle and his in-ability to get his first serve in play was his undoing. Tennis fans it was not to be. Kirby was quoted as saying "You really have to give it to Altizer, he leaves it out on the court. Nice mustache by the way." I could of sworn I saw a tear majestically abseil down Kirby's cheek. A tennis fan can only hope and dream for next year.

Glenn Davis Wins Pearl Trophy; Outlasts Carl Lonnberg

Glenn Davis outlasted the late onslaughts of serves from Carl Lonnberg to win the 1st Annual Nathanael Greene Wooden Racquet Tennis Tournament Invitation Cup Memorial Classic. Davis, a veteran of the wooden circuit, has now added a major to his trophy case. Davis' route to the finals was not an easy one. Davis easily won over an outmatched Darren Durlach, then played two excellent matches with Lloyd Overdyke and Scott Davidson, only to come out on top. Davis was tested in the Semifinals by none other than play-boy and circuit misfit Whit Altizer. After a fight in the stands, two of Davis' fan supporters were thrown out for cheering "W-h-i-t, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly" during Altizer's serve. Davis was able to put down Altizer with scintillating ground strokes and managed a 8-6 victory.

After winning the prestigious Pearl Trophy, Davis managed a few words. "This is what its all about, the Pearl validates my whole career. I've won some tournaments, but none as big as the Nathanael Greene Wooden Classic." Well Mr. Davis, I think Nathanael Greene would be proud. You fought with a revolutionary style and served with distinction. Well done.

Champion Davis Cries As Trophy Is Handed Over!

Glenn Davis Wins 1st Annual Nathanael Greene Wooden Classic.

Who's Excited about the Nathanael Greene Wooden Classic

Sound off on the comments below....

BRACKETS RELEASE 4:00PM EST

The March to Savannah is starting to gear up, today registration closes and the Brackets are announced. If you haven't registered yet, you have until 4:00 PM EST today. Numerous questions will be answered at 4:00 today. For the west, a couple people sit on the bubble and we will be checking in with them through satellite. We may see faces of joy, but for some the March to Savannah was a quick one surrounded with tears of frustration and anguish. Did Mike Richards get the number 1 seed he rightfully thinks he deserves? Who did fan favorite, Lauren Shapiro, get paired with? Who is playing on the unlucky upset minded court number 5? The March to Savannah begins NOW.

THE MARCH TO SAVANNAH

Coffee, Lattes, Cappuccino and Donuts will be served at 8:45am in the player's lounge of the Greene Estate. I know its early and for some reason you signed up for a wooden racquet tennis tournament but this should make the transition from night to day a bit better. Ivan Lendl is scheduled to give the part 2 lecture of his series about the benefits of a wooden game. Q &A afterwords...and then The MARCH TO SAVANNAH will begin promptly at 9:30 am.



Court Locations

NATHANAEL GREEN WANTS YOU!

Ladies and gentlemen,
The time has come to pick up your wooden racquets and lay down your fears. Many will not make it home, but all will have helped in our quest. You will be remember. This my friends is a testament to those that came before us. The Children are depending on us. Join me, join your brothers, join your sisters in helping make a difference in world where wooden racquets are no longer allowed. Graphite, Kevlar, fiberglass have laughed too long while in cahoots with tyranny. Let us take back the night, let us sing while swinging thunderbolts of wood. What God has strung together with pine, oak, beech, maple and nylon, let no man tear apart. Register TODAY.


Warmest Regards,
THE GENERAL

BREAKING NEWS:Press Loves The Nathanael Greene Wooden Classic

Asheville Citizen-Times reporter and voice of the mountains, Lindsay Nash writes on her involvement in the Nathanael Greene Wooden Classic. General Greene sends a special thanks to Ms Nash.

Read all about it here.

RACQUETOLOGY

WEEK 4

Glenn Davis--Birmingham, AL
Davis is one of the odds on favorite to win the Nathanael Greene Wooden Classic. Davis quickly gained international fame with his early career on the Badminton circuit and received player of the year awards for both 93 and 94 Badminton seasons. After a torn groin muscle sidelined him for most of the 98 season, Davis successfully completed the transition to the hard courts. Davis is one of only a hand full of players that can serve with either hand, this becomes tricky late in the match for players that are used to seeing the usual right to left motion of Davis's side spinning first serve. Davis is banned from playing in Finland after an altercation with Finnish officials at the Paavo Nurmi Invitational.

Jon Sowar--Alexandria, VA
A monk sits at the bank of the Ganges River, calmly meditating in preparation for the upcoming tennis circuit. His village suffers from disease and cannot receive medicine because the people are poor. The monk decides he will raise money for medicine by entering the Nathanael Greene Wooden Classic. As Jon searches his inner self at the bank of the river, his wife Sally approaches him from behind. She knows it was a tough decision for Jon since he only lives to help people not hurt them. Suddenly Jon's body erupts in flames. Sally is stunned -- what had she done? Jon rises to face her. "Do not worry. This is the miracle of Yoga. It is not real flame. It is part of my aura. If I use this power, I can win the wooden classic without seriously hurting my opponent." Sally is relieved. "What you believe is the only way to go, Jon." His decision is made without hesitation.

Christopher Arnold--Washington, DC
Arnold is known to have a foothold in the dirty underground of our nation's capital. A stoic baseline game and very agile at attacking the net, Arnold's only problem is the fact that he has ties to the illegal Columbia Heights tennis syndicate and regularly bets against himself with huge payoffs going the syndicates way. The Nathanael Greene Society argued strongly for his ban from the Nathanael Greene Wooden Classic, but in the end his solid play and a hope for a hometown boy to make good was a movie in the making.

Lindsay Nash--Black Mountain, NC
Nash, a serve and volley specialist will thrill those with an insiders knowledge of the game. This player's player has a major downfall, her inability to turn left. She is currently working with the notarized hypnotise Virgil McJeffers and her Estonian coach, Kaia Kanepi. Will her very solid up and down game be enough for her to take home the prestigious Pearl trophy? Be assured that if she does win Nash will be placed to the right of the trophy during the presentation.

Sam Kirby--Meadows of Dan, VA
The king of reverse reverse psychology, Kirby will bend over backward to make you think that you are winning, and you will. However Kirby is still a force to be reckoned with. The sous-chef of his own six course tourney, Kirby serves up cross-slices faster than you can say fagabefe, pausing only to wipe the crumbs from his salty maw and in true Dickensonian style, come back for more. Known in some parts as the “Rojo Haired Loco” and the “Wooer of Llamas”, Kirby’s penchant for tex-mex tennis proves to be a double-edged sword, elevating his game to caliente! but deporting his toilet south of the border. Look for Kirby to drop it like it’s hot on and off the court, an all-too familiar phenomenon for unsuspecting Buenos Airians. Also keep your eyes peeled for Kirby’s tennis two-step, the Prom Special. Rumored as exotic and scintillating as the Ecuadorian Quetzal, it is just as elusive and every bit as intoxicating.

Monday's 10 Random Facts

10.) Bats always turn left when exiting a cave--Lindsay Nash lost the ability to turn left during a marathon screening of the Police Academy series. It remains a major downfall in her tennis game.

9.) Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants-- Glenn Davis is also banned from Finland.

8.) On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year--Justin Fertick will not sign autographs because of this.

7.) The rarest blood type in the world is type A-H, less than 12 people have it--Lets pray that Lauren Shapiro doesn't cut herself during play.

6.) Pinocchio was made of pine--Much like the racquet choice of Max Bergmann, known for its strength to weight ratio.

5.) Dolphins sleep with one eye open--Sarah Talbot sleeps with both eyes open.

4.) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue--Aaron Lawler is known to lash out at his opponents and the fans around with a sharp tongue.

3.) Pigs can run a mile in 7 ½ minutes--This is faster than 92% of the field.

2.) Whale vomit, which once cost twice as much as gold, was believed by Arabs to be an intense aphrodisiac. It has been scientifically proven... for male rats, that is--Tom Mackey still swears by it.

1.) Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin while working for Ms. Greene at the Greene's Estate, Mulberry Grove--Sam Kirby's Racquet is named "Mulberry Grove" and he has created a shot that experts are calling the "Cotton Gin" for its ability to quickly and easily separate the cotton fibers from opponents racquets.

RACQUETOLOGY

Week 3

Adam Osterholz--Baton Rouge, LA
As an aspiring figure skater, Adam "Princess O" Osterholz hopes to try his delicate grace on the court. Furious with the fact that Will Farrell's movie "Blades of Glory" made fun of his true passion, Adam will take that furry and unleash with his racquet. Do not let Adam's warm hearted, gentle demeanor fool you, for inside he is not quite the delicate flower he appears to be. A heavy impression could very well be left on the clay by the Princess. Strengths: Stong ankles and a beautiful Triple Sowcow. Weaknesses: Tennis.

Sarah Talbot--Charlottesville, VA
If grace could be defined in a movement it would be Talbot's forehand. Opponents have been caught flat footed and watching as Talbot will send another beauty down their throats. But all is not pirouettes with her game, her backhand will make a mule kick and a bull charge. Known around the circuit as Les Backhandhauser, she has spent the past several weeks with expert backhand coach Harry Jazzercise. If Jazzercise can improve her backhand look for Talbot to go far.

Ralph Ledgerwood--Alexandria, VA
One word - Ralph Ledgerwood. This former IBA superstar is favored by many to go all the way. He placed 2nd in the George C. Scott Bi-annual Wildlife Refuge Charity Tour, 3rd in the Pocahontas Freedom Invitational Tournament of Champions, and won the Santa Anna Children's Society Benefit Foundation Cup Classic. Even though these were all karaoke competitions, he is expected to go far. Strengths: Experience and a solid short game. Weaknesses: Distracted easily by the ladies.

Kyle Rabe--Greenville, SC
Rabe bounced around the Snapple Wooden Circuit (SWC) for years before his first big win. He's managed to add a couple trophys to his mantle since and isn't looking back. He received an at-large invitation with his strong play and 2nd place finish at the Savannah Open. Rabe is known as a serve specialist. He will keep you well behind the baseline with his 63+ MPH serves. If you can return it, then you have a chance. Look for Rabe to come unraveled in the second round when a potential match-up with Max Bergmann will keep Rabe running.

PLAYER DEVELOPMENT

Sharon Kirby--Previously of Greensboro, NC
Kirby has opted out of the tournament to deal with her ailing husband's pride. Kirby could not be reached for comment, but sources inside say that she is distraught over her husband's desire to live in the past.