Every week I will try and post a couple player profiles and player developments, we are going to call it Racquetology. Here is the Racquetology for the week of 21 May 2007.
RACQUETOLOGY
Tom Mackey--Potomac, MD
A left-hander with a solid net game. Mackey has an uncanny ability to get under his opponents skin with a technique referred to some as "Crazy Tom". USTF has fined Mackey for laughing during his backhand and playing while intoxicated. First round matches him up with a similar opponent Adam Osterholz This will be the 1st round match to see. Mackey is seeded 8th in the North Bracket.
Jina Kang--New York, NY
Her Tourrette Syndrome may make for immature snickers from the crowd, but her game is nothing to laugh over. She'll send back soup in a deli as easily as your serve. Kang is seeded 10th in the North Bracket.
Max Bergmann--Unknown
The Michael Chang of the 21st Century. His court coverage is amazing, prefers baseline to baseline and relies on his opponents unforced errors. Bergmann, a streaky player, is on a 14-0 winning streak and won last week's PT Beauregard Invitational in Charleston, SC. Seeded 4th in the West Bracket due to his rotten 0-11 month of February.
Like asparagus pee she will offend you, but you'll come back for a second whiff and then stick around. A game classified as "Jackson Pollock with a racquet" she paints the corners, and then everything else. Her ability to outlast her opponent will come in handy in the June heat. Look for Kirby to go far in this tournament, with only her dog Bella a distraction.
Justin Fertick--Constantinople, Turkey
To predict Justin's performance in this tournament would be quite the task. After coming off of a three year Russian Stratego Round Robin tourney, some question whether he has had enough time to re-energize. One thing you cannot overlook when factoring in Fertick's abilities, is the recent addition of three extra fingers on his right hand from an underground "experimental" surgery. Look for a mean top spin that will keep oponents glued to the base line, and a serve that has been described as "hallucinogenic". His biggest weakness is his inability to accept the role of the net.
INJURY REPORT
Michael Richards--Des Moines, Iowa
Believed to be the best racquet maker above the tropic of cancer, Richards broke his elbow while cutting down a tree to make his new racket. Richards, nicknamed Roy Hobbs for his homerun swing would be a definite final four pick. He will miss 6 to 8 weeks and is questionable at this time for the Nathanael Greene Wooden Classic.
5 comments:
Unfortunately for my opponents, my left arm was broken. My right arm is still fully functional, and it will break your serves, and faces, the tournament throughout. I harnessed all my pain and anguish into my latest creation and fashioned a raquette from the tree which maimed me. It is truly glorious. Its name: “The Bells of Death.”
Tom Mackey will not survive the first round.
the funniest thing about this is that there has not been one single Kramer joke yet.
I can't wait till next weeks.
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